What makes me legitimate?

Mommy told me to wait, so I must stay here until she finds me. Mi Yun was determined to find her uncle today. Occasionally, she felt the stare of the stationmaster, but when she returned his gaze, he quickly busied himself with another passenger or looked to the ground. Although she was eager to talk to someone, the stationmaster was relieved that she didn’t approach him.

At the end of the day, he stepped onto the platform and said to her, “No one is coming for you. You must leave.” “My mom said I had to wait for my uncle. I must stay right here.” He drew a slow breath through his nose and forced it out. His lips tightened, his jaw clenched, and he brushed her shoulder with his finger. “You cannot wait here. Do you hear me? No one is coming for you.”

Mi Yun hung her head in confusion. An alarmed Mi Yun obeyed, but something in her chest started again. Tears burned in her eyes as she stumbled back to the ox cart, hungry and alone for the second night. Thoughts raced through her mind. “Mommy told me my uncle would be here to meet me.” Despite the overwhelming circumstances, Mi Yun’s spirit remained unbroken.

“How am I going to find my uncle, Mommy? I need you. You said you would come for me.” Sitting under the oxen cart for a long time, as the sunset and darkness fell over her yet again.

The man in the uniform is right, she thought. No one is coming for me. I don’t know what to do. Her body shook with the distress of being alone and her dread of being on her own. What would she eat? She was already starving. Where would she sleep? Who would protect her from dogs and mean people, who would tell her stories and make her laugh? How could she get home to her Mama? Mi Yun began to cry softly; her whimper soon turned into an uncomfortable sound. She realized that she would need to leave the station, her only safe place in the strange village, and the thought terrified her. A plan began to take shape in her thoughts: the black train brought me here yesterday. If I walk on the train rails back in the direction I came from, it will take me back to where I left my Mama. From there, I can find the pretty tree-lined road to my house. I will keep walking until I see the large wooden gate with black rings, opening to my home. Her fears began to dissipate, and as her fears eased, a hunger suddenly overcame her, but there was nothing left to eat. She repeated, “It will be all right. It will be all right. I will find my way back home. I will get back to my Mama.” She drifted off to fitful sleep.

Do I believe the scriptures? “For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the Earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalms 139:13-16

Does he make me unique and special? Do I believe that I am a very special person created, crafted, and designed by God, my father? Do I believe that before the foundation of the world, he had planned for me? Do I believe that he knew me in my mother’s womb? Do I believe that I am not an accident? Can I believe that my heavenly father willed me into existence? This belief in my divine purpose inspires and motivates me to live a life that reflects the love and grace of my Creator.

Since the day of being abandoned at the train station, I’ve had to stand on the word of God, not on what the world has said to me. I have to believe that my Papa God chose my broken parents, and he brought me together in my mother’s womb. He knew my birth, and he placed me in my family. I’ve had to take some deep breaths as I’ve had to let that truth graft into my fiber. He knew my earthly heritage, but more than that, he knew my spiritual heritage. Although I know nothing about my bloodline, he knows the generations past, and he put all those pieces together—the beautiful and those that are not so glorious—woven together and made me who I am today. I am only an Overcomer because I rest not in the lie crafted for me. The truth of what the Holy Spirit speaks into my innermost being every day is that He did create my innermost being. He knit me together in my mother’s womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made; His works are wonderful. All the days of my life, my past, my present, and my future are written in his book of life, and before any of them even came to being, and will come to be, he knows it well. This unwavering faith in God’s plan provides me with a sense of comfort and reassurance.

written by Stephanie Fast-for more see her book, She Is Mine. Story above at the train station adapted from her book.

Your past does not define your present.